i sent this, and only this, in an email to myself on 10/13/2016, and recently found it.
a little bank elf thinks i want to work at his branch
i walk into the bank and am greeted by a small elf. there is no one else inside of the bank, which is odd, because it’s just a regular bank.
me: hello, i’d like to get a temporary debit card.
little bank elf: eh? you need a job?
me: what? no. i need a temporary card, i lost mine and they’re sending me a new one.
little bank elf: c’mon, i’ll train you.
me: what? no, sir, i don’t want to work here.
little bank elf: why not?
me: i already have a job.
little bank elf: oh you do, do you? one job, eh? in my day, we walked up the hill every morning to 11 different jobs and they were all each higher up on the hill. the hill was so tall it rose up into the clouds.
me: i’m… sorry.
little bank elf: c’mon, i will train you.
me: i ah… ugh. fine