I have to go to my doctor about once a month for my allergy medication but it’s becoming increasingly uncomfortable because of one thing: the model skeleton in the room keeps coming alive and asking me to join his competitive dance team.

Apparently the team competes every several months in a several local competitions, and their big one is coming up at the county fair pretty soon. I keep telling him no, but he really won’t let up.

Sometimes I request to go into a different room, one where the skeleton won’t be, but every time I do, one of the nurses wheels him in to the one I am in, saying, “This guy belongs in this room!” and it’s always a different room, but it’s always the one I am currently in, so I am beginning to think he controls their minds somehow, so that he can be alone in the room with me.

“You’ve really got the legs for tap,” he shouts immediately when we are completely alone in the room, startling me every time, because he is supposedly just a statue that cannot speak.

“Dude, I don’t want to join your team, I don’t dance,” I tell him, to which he always responds, “Join it,” and I’m like, “No thank you,” and he says, “What is your problem??????” and I’m like, “Medically? I have allergies, that’s why I am here-” and he’s like, “I don’t CARE about that, join my dance team,” and I’m like, “No, dude!” and he whispers, “Please join my dance team,” and honestly, finally I just said fine, and I’ll be performing with them this October at the county fair across town, if any of you want to attend. It’s $3. ◊