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audrey farnsworth

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audrey farnsworth

you are here! it’s you! this is incredible!

i fell off one of the boats on the pirates of the caribbean ride 17 consecutive times

i didn’t trust a soul on this planet but everything changed one day when i decided to go to disneyland by myself.…

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Posted in: fight

i’m releasing my 4th of july plans to the public.

the loud holiday is finally upon us and i couldn’t be happier.

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Posted in: holiday

dialogues with technology, volume 1

every day, technology tries to annoy me.

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Posted in: Uncategorized

the crow and the skeleton (dialogue #1)

a little crow stood next to a tall skeleton, and each of them held violins. it is unclear as to how…

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Posted in: fight Filed under: dialogues

Captain’s Log of the Beluga Russian Spy

Over the past week and a half, I have become obsessed with one thing, and one thing only: the beluga whale…

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Posted in: family, help me

Horrible News: The Scientists Are Angry With Me

Recently a self-described scientist emailed me telling me about how I was extremely wrong about something in an article I wrote–and…

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Posted in: Uncategorized

i’m going to talk about hallmark movies to you.

i am going to talk about hallmark movies for a second to you. right now, that is what i have…

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Posted in: Uncategorized

an interview with my mom

and now, i proudly present: the lost interview of when i interviewed my mom for work but i couldn’t include…

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Posted in: the woods Filed under: no thanks, tags

bank elf wants to hire me

i sent this, and only this, in an email to myself on 10/13/2016, and recently found it. a little bank…

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Posted in: beauty, fashion, help me Filed under: found footage

we made an instagram story movie

we made an instagram story horror movie in a cabin and it’s called the snowman: the better one.

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Posted in: the woods

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