long distance relationships can be very tough but there’s some tricks you can do, to make sure the sweet candle of your love does not… stop… burning. here are the things you must do, if you want to keep the flame… there. for your love.
it is important that you communicate with each other, and tell each other your feelings, always. while you are talking your feelings to your sweet man, over the phone, it is also important that you begin growing extremely large, and into a giant, until you are so large that you are everywhere, and therefore by your boyfriend. now, you are there! the problem is done! it is fine!
have fun together!
it is important to have fun together, while being far apart. said one successful girlfriend: “we played games on our phone together! like scrabble! also, i was towering over him, because i had grown into a large, large giant, and was literally in every location physically possible, but most importantly, i was near him, he is never getting away from me! i’m so tall!”
say “goodnight” and “good morning!”
make sure you say “goodnight” and “good morning” to each other every day. this is especially simple to do, if you are a big ass giant that is towering over him currently, so be sure you are doing that, as well.
trust each other!!
learn how to trust each other completely, which is possible because you are a humongous fucking giant, who can see everything, and is most likely crushing many life forms beneath you, although you cannot tell, because you are just that large. “it’s easy to trust my partner because i’m always staring at him, with my large eyes,” one woman bellowed, from high in the sky where her head was.
set ground rules!!!
you have to set ground rules if you want this relationship to work. he will say, “can you stay in your state and i’ll stay in mine,” and you will rapidly growing upwards and shouting, “i will not,” followed by, “love me,” to which he will go, “oh fuck–” and you will go, “YOU WILL BE LOVING ME,” to which he will go, “someone help,” and by this time, you will have already grabbed him with your big ass hand and have begun walking towards the ocean, where you will bathe together, serenely. it’s date night, motherfucker!
above all, always be honest with each other!!!!
for example, when he is at work or whatever the fuck and you are watching him because you’re always watching him because you’re always watching everything because you are literally everywhere, tell him to be honest with you or else you will become angry and kick his fucking ass, honestly. when he tells you, “i want to break up,” tell him, “you are not being honest with me,” and when he says, “yes, i am, i want to break up with you!!” tell him, “you will honestly not be doing that, sir,” and don’t worry, everything is just fine now, because you are both being honest. you have won at relationship! good job! ♦