about

thank you for visiting my website! this is my website, and i am: audrey. here is my bio, below:

audrey is probably currently at the grocery store. she loves grocery stores. yesterday i bought an extremely large onion, actually,

ah. dang it. no. getting off topic. let me start again. okay, here it is:

audrey farnsworth wants to. she wants. she wants to. she wants to kick your ass!!!!!

FUCK. no! no, i don’t! where did that come from? extremely unprofessional, as well as strangely aggressive, okay, here is it, for real:

audrey p. farnsworth is a writer in

jesus, that is far too large. hang on, HANG THE SHIT ON. HERE IT IS FOR REAL, BUT REALLY:

audrey penny farnsworth lives in los angeles california and sometimes she looks up at the sky and begins floating up into it and is like, "oh no not this again,” and grabs at the ground and has to hold on to stay down there sure fine this is fine this is my bio fuck it  it's all true this is all true i give up this is fine

that was it. that was my "about" section. how did you like that? did you? i think it was fine, not great, could be better. talking about yourself is strange. you're probably like, “oh, so that's what you've done motherfucker? oh yeah?? is it????? prove it!!" and i'm like, "no!” haha. you got a problem with that? do you want to fight me or something because you don't believe me????? i am TELLING THE TRUTH. 

oh man, this is going really well, this whole "about" thing, hahaha. all right, see ya.

disclaimer: audrey farnsworth is a freelance comedy writer and screenwriter in los angeles who also occasionally travels places and talks about them. a fair amount of her work can be found online and other work can be obtained by asking her directly for it. she doesn't have a manager or an agent and is perfectly comfortable saying that on her website.